Wheeljack and Bee
by SpenName
Summary: One shot: Wheeljack gets drunk and takes Bumblebee on an adventure.


_AN: This is an attempt at free writing where I've basically started writing with no end in mind, and just let things flowed from there. I got the idea to do this from a suggestion on writing and the premise after watching the first season of Rick and Morty and fueling my obsession._

* * *

It was a lazy Saturday morning in the Ark when Bumblebee received the call. Most of the Autobots were out, either undergoing their typical patrol's or still in stasis-lock, Optimus Prime himself had since gone on vacation and was due to come back later that very day. Bumblebee was applying repairs to Teletraan-One per Ratchet's request, following another one of the Dinobots' rampages the night prior. He was on patrol while it happened, stopping by the movie theater to give Spike and Carly a lift, much to the aging Spike's discomfort. Apparently the Dinobots had, as Slag had eloquently put it, "eaten-the-fish-they-had-caught-without-bothering-to-chew." Bumblebee shook his head, his index finger sparking as he utilized its miniature blow-torch function to weld the Autobot computer together. Bumblebee didn't mind it; he _liked _working in fact, the mere idea of being of use made the mini-bot feel welcome in this environment. Of course between Hoist and Grapple goofing off to pursue some sort of project, and Ratchet busy mending the other bots who got wounded from the Dinobots' brawl it could be considered that he was the default choice for the job. His communicator vibrating, Bumblebee stepped down from the tall metal step-ladder and raised the small metal box to his audio receptor.

"Um, Bumblebee speaking, might I ask-?"

"Bumble—urp – bee."

Bumblebee recognized the accent without a second doubt. "Wheeljack, what—are you over-energized right now? Where are you?"

"No time to explain." Wheeljack hastily replied. "Just- hold tight, I'll be right—urp – there."

"O… Kay." Bumblebee said with a hint of worry in his voice. As he turned to resume repairs to Teletraan, a loud whizzing sound carried through the Ark's halls, followed by a loud boom as a small ship crashed through the ceiling, crushing Teletraan beneath it, glass and metal shattered and twisted beneath the pod-like ship as it's cockpit opened. Wheeljack tumbled out, falling face-first into the ground and groaning.

"Oh my gosh, Wheeljack!"

The engineer's "ears" flashed dimly as he lifted himself to his feet, "Yeah, I hear you Bumblebee, don't worry I'm—hic– fine."

"I don't care about you!" Bumblebee professed, shooing him aside. "You just crushed Teletraan, I think you _killed _him."

Wheeljack waved a hand in denial, "Bumblebee relax he's a computer, Bumblebee, he- he doesn't have feelings he's basic- BWARP- basically a robot."

"_WE'RE_ ROBOTS!"

Teletraan's light's flickered on and off, "Warning, system failing, requiring immediate attention. May result in system death."

"SEE?!"

"That's not important Bumblebee, the point is that it was a figure of speech, Primus don't you know anything about—hic – anything?"

Bumblebee held his head in his hands, "Oh man Wheeljack, aww geez, Ratchet's gonna flip his lid."

"Ratchet can go frag himself for all I care Bumblebee, you wouldn't want to fix that stupid computer anyways, I can't understand our fascination with healing the old instead of bringing the new, Bumblebee. Now I know it isn't a very popular opinion, but if I had my way, I'd replace every broken limb we have with a- a— a turbo booster or something of the like, but that's not—hic – we—we have to go Bumblebee there's no time to explain."

"Look, Wheeljack, I'm ah— I'm a little busy at the moment and I really think I should finish this job or else—"

Wheeljack grabbed Bumblebee by the collar, hurling him into small ship, "There's no time!"

Jumping in after him, the ship's cockpit closed and powered itself on again. Within a few seconds, Bee and Wheeljack were in the air precisely as Ratchet returned to Teletraan. "What in the name of spark is going on in here?!" the CMO scanned the broken area, stopped, and began to sniff the air, "Wait… I think I know…" he set his gaze on Teletraan, narrowing his optics. He raised his clenched servo and shook his fist to the sky, "WHEELJAAAACK!"

* * *

"Hey Bumblebee, what do you think of my—hic – ship."

The yellow scout had been staring through the window, surveying the desert scenery below, a look of worry was plastered across his faceplate, "It's alright."

"I made it myself—obviously, I call it the Jackhammer, pretty clever right?"

"I guess… Hey so where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there... but actually, for the sake of keeping you out of the dark, I'll tell you. You see I found these… these things."

"Things?"

"Yes Bumblebee," he turned his head dramatically, _"things."_

"What kind of... things?"

"They're like these- they're sort of these, things, boxes, right?"

"Uhuh"

"They're these glowing boxes and they—they are sometimes pink."

Bumblebee shook his head. "Hold up, are you talking about Energon?"

Wheeljack paused, "What."

"Energon, glowing pink cubes, our blood and fuel, you know… Energon."

"You don't have to try and impress me Bumblebee, these things they- they look exactly like Energon but they're not, they're- they're these things that, they- they make people smart."

"They make people smart?"

"Yes Bumblebee they make people smart, now I know what you're thinking, what on earth was _Wheeljack_ thinking when he decided to give the Dinobots simple—urp- brains, well I'll tell you what Bumblebee, I was being faithful to the source material. You see Bumblebee, there are too many people out there that refuse to remember what's important, what things started out as. Extinct alien races known for their ingenuity get cloned for— for what, badass super soldiers? That's crazy that's— imagine if I was some… some badass samurai wielding a pair of katanas and belting out catchphrases like "Let's dance" every minute, that's just crazy, that— that'd be crazier than me being a Wrecker it would- it would be crazier than you being mute what with you being a non-stop chatterbox all the time."

"But I'm not-"

"Slow down Bumblebee, I hate to interrupt your loud, non-stop blathering, but we're here… Oh no."

Bumblebee turned away from the window, "What is it?"

The engineer pointed out the front windshield and towards a large factory complex below. "Down there, it's Megatron"

* * *

The Decepticon leader stood, hands on his hips and his head raised forward, surveying as the Constructicons carried out their menial tasks of lifting the Energon and placing them into box-like containers for transport.

"Lord Megatron." Soundwave spoke, approaching his leader from behind. "Scanners indicate that the Energon found in this storage, holds significant mind altering apparatus."

Megatron turned to his communications expert, frowning as usual. "And what is _that _supposed to mean."

"It means that this Energon could not only enhance our power levels, but also our level of intelligence."

Megatron massaged his chin, glancing briefly at Starscream who stood idly by, watching as the Constructicons laboured away at the mines and yawning.

"Perhaps this could be of great use to us after all."

Noticing the passing glares, Starscream raised a brow to his lord and master, "Wait, you mean that as an insult towards me, you meant that as an insult towards me!"

"I can see it's working already!" Megatron announced, laughing heartily. Soundwave soon followed, laughing in a deadpanned tone.

Bonecrusher lightly nudged Longhaul in the rib, motioning towards Soundwave. "Did you hear that?"

"Soundwave…"

"Yeah, he totally laughed just now."

"Creepy…"

Soundwave perked his head.

"Ah scrap, I think he noticed."

The communications officer frowned at the green robots briefly and jabbed his index digit towards the sky, "Lord Megatron, incoming!" Megatron traced Soundwave's line of sight to find a large grey ship barrelling towards them.

Bumblebee grabbed hold of the railing. "Wheeljack, what are you doing? You're flying us right towards Megatron!"

Wheeljack tapped at the side of his helm, "It's okay Bumblebee, trust me, it's all a part of the-hic- plan, Bumblebee."

"Is the plan trying to get us killed?"

"Y—hic – no."

"They're going to see us!"

"Too late for that Bumblebee" Wheeljack let go of the controls and pulled a small cartridge of some kind from his belt. "Just hurry up and put on this hologram distributor."

* * *

Unimpressed, Megatron raised his fusion cannon towards the ship and powered it on. "Stand aside fools!" as soon as Starscream, Soundwave, and the Constructicons had made way; Megatron fired a powerful blast of energy that burned a hole through the ship, clipping the wings of the Jackhammer and sending it spiraling downwards, crashing into the dirt.

Bumblebee did as he was told and placed the cartridge on his chest.

"Good" Wheeljack said, "Now when they see you, they'll think you'll look exactly like a Decepticon. Just keep with the act and we miiiiight just survive this."

"I can hear footsteps!" Bumblebee scratched his head. "...Then again; I probably should have seen this coming, getting into a flying vehicle with a drunken bot… not your brightest moment Bumblebee…"

"Well that's just your—hic- opinion!"

Megatron snapped a finger at his communications officer as he approached the vessel, "Soundwave, eject Rumble."

Soundwave pressed a finger against his torso, opening his plexi-glass chest cavity, "Rumble, eject, operation-"

"Alright!" Rumble crawled out from Soundwave's chest, swinging off of his torso and landing on the ground below. "I hear ya, I hear ya, 'don't need to come up with an "operation" every time you want me to do something."

Soundwave squinted at the Cassetticon.

"You could also… I don't know, try and be a little more emotive for once… just a little more enthusiastic about sending me out." Rumble activated his pile-drivers and aimed them at the Jackhammer, "Knock Knock!"

To the Cassetticon's surprise, he was returned with an answer, "Who's there?"

"…Rumble."

"Rumble who?"

He paused, "Rumble you glad I didn't say Frenzy?"

Starscream grasped at the air as if begging Rumble to shut his mouth, "THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!"

Rumble smashed his pile-drivers against the ship's doors, breaking them open and revealing a small green robot inside.

Starscream and Soundwave exchanged worried glances as the petite bot rose from the wreckage.

"Say your lines Bee!" Wheeljack called in a hush tone from within the ship.

Bumblebee was cloaked with a holographic exoskeleton not unlike his standard frame, but with a more streamlined head and- of course, a green paintjob instead of his traditional yellow.

Megatron raised his fusion cannon and aimed it directly at the mini-bot's head, "State your name, allegiance and purpose!" The Decepticon leader growled.

Bumblebee fumbled with his words, wracking his brain for the correct response. "Wasp!" he said suddenly and loudly, "My name is Wasp I'm a—"he looked down to be sure that his holographic Decepticon symbol was in place, "Decepticon and— and my purpose was to—" Bumblebee pulled himself to his feet, saluting in an honourable fashion "My purpose was to come and uh— assist his Lordship."

Starscream smirked, "_You, _a Decepticon? Oh I'm sure you are quite the warrior!"

"Hey leave him be Starscream!" Scrapper spat, "This guy doesn't seem too bad, and he's green!"

Hook nodded in agreement, "Gotta agree, green's a real warrior's colour, separates the mechs from the bots."

"Silence!" Megatron kneeled in front of 'Wasp', examining him skeptically. "Are you alone?"

"Uh… no, actually I have a guy back here who-"

"Hey—hic – everybody."

From behind Bumblebee came Wheeljack, decorated with a blue colour scheme and a head that resembled that of a human face, one with blue hairs growing from either side of his head.

"AHWHATTHESCRAP!" Starscream belted.

"What?" Wheeljack checked to see if his Decepticon symbol was on and continued, "My name's Wheel- I mean Que, nice to-"

Megatron shielded his view, "Cover yourself!"

"Why?" he turned to Bumblebee, raising a defined eyebrow, I'm not naked am I-"

"Your face!" Bumblebee shouted, "What did you do with your face?!"

"I'm—it's Albert Einstein! A very smart human being… apparently, I modeled my face off of—hic- him!"

Megatron snorted. "Very well, keep your... uncommon appearance, until then… what shall I command of you…?"

"You can't be serious." Starscream powered his null-rays, approaching the pair of 'Decepticons' with great assertiveness, "We don't even know where they came from! What makes you think these two are worth trusting when they came hurdling towards us in an aircraft!"

"The Autobots shot us down!" Bumblebee yelped, unsure where this was coming from.

Starscream grinned his Null-Rays glowing, "What a shame."

"Cease your idiocies!" Megatron snapped.

Grumbling, Starscream lowered his guns, reluctantly facing away from the group.

"I think that's impossible." Bumblebee said flatly.

The Constructicons laughed collectively and Soundwave made whooping noises, much to the chagrin of Rumble and Starscream.

Megatron chuckled, placing a hand on Bumblebee's shoulder. "I have the feeling you'll fit right in, now then… how are you with carrying Energon cubes?"

Bumblebee and Wheeljack exchanged looks.

* * *

"Wasp" held the cube towards the light for Wheeljack to examine. The tunnels beneath the complex were dark, and the dim lights the Constructicons placed in along the ceiling didn't help much at all. "Alright Bumblebee" Wheeljack said, folding away his equipment, "We need to- urp- hold on," the engineer reached into his belt and pulled out a small Energon cube, opening the lid and gulping down the liquids inside. "-there."

"Do you _really _think you should be drinking more?" Bumblebee asked.

"Do you _really _think you should be asking any more questions? Now shut up I- I think the- yeah, these should be able to do it."

Bumblebee folded his arms, tapping his foot impatiently. "So the plan is to use these special cubes to make the Dinobots smarter again? Whatever happened to respecting the source material?"

Wheeljack took another sip from his cube. "Nah you see, sometimes you've gotta own up to your mistakes, find a way to fix them, which is why once we get these cubes back to the Ark, I'll- I'll make a time machine and go back to before I made the Dinobots, then I'll give me this cube, and then I'll be— then I'll be smart enough to make the Dinobots smart!"

Bumblebee raised a brow, "Wait, wouldn't it be more practical to just give these to the Dinobots so you can make them smarter without, y'know, inventing time-travel?"

Wheeljack paused to think for a moment, and placed his servos on Bumblebee's shoulders, "Listen to me carefully Bumblebee, there's only one way we can smuggle these cubes out of here without getting caught."

"Oh um… okay."

"You need to listen very carefully Bumblebee"

"I am."

"You need to take these cubes…"

"Yeah?"

"And shove them waaaay up your aft."

"Up my aft?"

"I need you to shove them waaaay up your aft, they'll never know to look there of all places."

"But Wheeljack I-"

"You're the only one who can do this Bumblebee, you are the perfect size and with the most malleable—."

"But why can't I just put them in my trunk or… something?"

Wheeljack raised a digit to speak, but stopped himself short, coming to the harsh realization. _"_I could have avoided so many unpleasant situations had I thought of that sooner, Bumblebee."

* * *

Rumble stared at Soundwave, exasperated, "Okay, we both know he's not gonna like this so uh… I don't know how we're going to explain this to him."

The communications officer lowered his head as Megatron came into view, "Warning, Megatron is approaching."

Rumble wringed his hands together, taking notice of his leader's irritated expression. "Alright, alright, just— just be cool."

Megatron placed himself in front of the two Decepticons, eyeing them suspiciously. "Soundwave, where have the rest of the Constructicons gone, last I saw they were assisting Wasp and—uhh– and Albert with the transport of Energon."

Rumble feigned a grin. "Well uh, you see Lord Megatron they—"

"They be- hizzling and bizzlin."

Rumble and Megatron turned to Soundwave, staring at him deadpanned.

"It' be nothin' much dawg." Soundwave continued. "Screamer be trippin' so the Scrapper made like a rapper and took his boys down to scrap with the Screams."

Megatron blinked, "Soundwave… why are you- why are you talking like that."

"Aww nothin' much to frazzle over my home slice, I'm just..." he winked at Rumble through his visor "…being cool."

Rumble slapped himself in the face, "Oh my God Soundwave just tell him what—oh forget it. Starscream ran off so we had the Constructicons chase after him, or, rather they more or less just ran off to find him on their own."

Megatron squinted. "Well that's… expected."

"What's the deal yo- I mean, *kaff* what are your orders Lord Megatron?"

"I suppose we let Scrapper carry out his task as is, otherwise I find it would be best to check on Wasp and… that other one."

* * *

The Ark had transitioned from a level of serenity to slight unrest as Ratchet continued to mend Teletraan-One.

Huffer watched him from across the room, arms folded angrily. "Eh… it's just—why do we gotta deal with the Dinobots, I mean, I'm all up for animal rights and all, but these guys—I don't care what the activists say, we should put them on an island or something."

Ratchet grunted as he re-stitched the Teletraan computer with his laser scalpel, "Look Huffer, I appreciate the sentiment and all, but if you don't mind I would very much like to finish these repairs. And besides, Grimlock has been standing behind you for the past thirty-seconds."

The giant metal T-Rex sniffed Huffer's head, growling lightly.

Huffer jumped backwards, squealing in shock. "Where did- Who let you out of the cave?!"

Grimlock raised his snout. "Someone forgot to lock Dinobots cage!"

Huffer felt himself stepping away slowly. "Well… whoever it was I bet they're stupid."

Ratchet raised a brow, "But Huffer… weren't you the one tasked with-"

"So what do you bozos want?" Huffer demanded, placing his hands on his hips as Swoop… swooped by with the other Dinobots in tow. "Lemme guess, you're here to break Teletraan again."

Grimlock made a confused grunt and craned his massive head to face the other Dinobots, "Me Grimlock don't remember breaking Teletraan badly, Snarl, did you scrap Teletraan?"

Snarl looked up from nudging around the loose plates of stripped metal on the floor and tilted his head "Mm, me no remember…"

Grimlock pondered to himself longer, "Hmm, me think Huffer is to blame."

Huffer was taken aback, "What?!"

"Wrong on both accounts," Ratchet said, jostling Teletraan slightly, "its Wheeljack this time," he pointed at the large hole in the ceiling, "trust me on this one."

Grimlock eyed the hole and squinted.

"What makes you say that?" Huffer wondered.

"When you work with a maniac like him for long enough, you begin to recognize his work with a certain clarity."

Swoop perched himself on top of the broken terminal, "So you two married?"

Ratchet swept a servo at Swoop, shooing him away as if he were an idle pigeon. "Of course not, we just happened to work with each other for a few centuries is all."

"Any idea where that idiot is now?" Huffer asked.

"Probably getting himself into trouble, it's a tendency of his, best just keep out of it and let him do his thing."

Grimlock reared his head; "Creator's in trouble?" the Dinobot shoved his nose into Ratchet's face, "Can me Grimlock and Dinobots go find Wheeljack?"

Ratchet shrugged, "Do what you want I guess."

Howling, Grimlock made a U-turn and stomped for the exit with Dinobots in tow. "Dinobots, rollout!"

Like a stampede, Grimlock and co crashed through the Ark's walls, wreaking havoc along the way and bunting aside a wounded Powerglide.

Ratchet sighed, returning to his work and mending the final few cracks of Teletraan, Ratchet put down his scalpel and slapped himself in the face. "I just let loose five Dinobots without any supervision, didn't I?"

Huffer folded his arms in spite, "Yep."

* * *

"So, is it—kaff – secure?"

Bumblebee sighed, rubbing his chest "Yeah, about as much as it will ever be."

Wheeljack nodded in approval, "You know what Bumblebee, that was some smart thinking back there, deciding to put it in your cab, It's—hic – it's one of those-"

"Wait!" Bumblebee stood at attention, "Someone's coming."

From the entrance of the cave emerged Soundwave and Rumble, arguably in a more lax disposition than with Megatron, but no less as threatening. "What up new guys?" Rumble greeted, waving a servo at them. "Did you happen to see Starscream around here?"

Wheeljack shook his head, "No, should we be worried?"

"Probably not, he just scampered off and, well, I'm sure even you guys have heard of Starscream's notoriety."

"Even the Autobots know about Starscream…" Bumblebee muttered.

"Well, that's about it." Rumble said clapping his hands together. "Oh right, we're supposed to test out some sort of… scan while we're at it."

Wheeljack frowned, "A scan?"

Soundwave nodded. "It is of little value, yet it remains mandatory."

Wheeljack squeezed Bumblebee's shoulder, "What do you mean scan, what sort of scan?"

Rumble extended an assuring hand, "Oh don't worry; it's just this new piece of equipment that detects things that are waaaay up your aft."

Wheeljack grabbed Bumblebee by both shoulders and shouted, "RUN BUMBLEBEE RUN!"

Doing as he said, Bumblebee leaped forward and transformed into a green Volkswagen as Wheeljack drop-kicked Rumble. In turn, Soundwave grappled with the Engineer as Bumblebee boosted forward without turning back.

His engine whirred and his wheels span as he accelerated out of the cave and into the factory complex. Swerving around a corner, Bumblebee found himself faced with Megatron, looking down upon him skeptically. "What are you doing out of the cave Wasp?"

Bumblebee remained in vehicle mode, too stunned to transform. "I—er—well you see—"

Before he could say a word, Starscream landed between him and Megatron.

"You're mine!" Starscream spat, shoving Megatron aside with one servo and tearing the other into Bumblebee's cab and ripping out the pink cubes in a single motion. Boosting himself upwards, Starscream clenched the Energon in his hands hovering above the stunned Megatron and Bumblebee. "Yes!" he announced. "With this I will be superior to all of you, especially _you _Megatron!" He laughed an eerie laugh and spilled the cube's contents into his gaping maw, taking a moment to gulp it down and wipe his face.

"Starscream you fool!" Megatron shouted, "You don't even know what that will _do _to you!"

Wheeljack sprinted from out of the cave with Soundwave and Rumble chasing from behind, stopping only to watch as Starscream consumed the Energon above.

"Bumblebee wait! The things Bumblebee! I may have made a miscalculation, they might just make you SUPER drunk!" Wheeljack paused to witness Starscream hover in the air, "… Oh."

Megatron glared at the small green Decepticon, "Bumblebee? So you're really that…"

Bumblebee tried to feign a grin only for his hologram distributer to fall from his chest and break, rendering his form back into his usual chubby, yellow self.

"So you're that big, red, pigheaded, Autobot security officer!" he paused, "Wait, why are you yellow?"

The scout blinked, "Because I'm… yellow?"

Megatron blinked back at him, "Hold on, I thought _'Bumblebee' _was the big red one… who am I thinking of?"

"Ironhide." Bumblebee answered.

Megatron opened his mouth and nodded in understanding, "Ahh, yes I remember now… I think."

"SILENCE!" Starscream screeched, aiming his Null-Rays at the ground, "I am Starscream! All knowledgeable and all powerful, my intellect is now on the lines of the great Albert Einstein from… whatever Albert Einsteins are from. Now bear witness as I…" He cleared his throat with uncertainty, "… sorry, as I… ahem, hold on let me just—I AM STARSCREAM Emperor of…" He stopped and massaged his chin, his optics narrowing back and forth as he thought about what to say. "Actually… never mind."

Megatron and Bumblebee blinked simultaneously and Starscream lifted his head, a look of despair plastered across his face. "I… apologize for my actions."

"What?" Megatron said.

"What?" Bumblebee said.

"What?" Rumble said.

"YO DAT SHIZ IS WACK YO!" Soundwave said.

"Shut up Soundwave." Wheeljack said.

Starscream clasped his hands together, bowing his head slightly, "You see this Energon… this intelligence enhancing Energon, has opened my eyes. I am a new bot this time, I swear it, and you see, upon rethinking my actions, I came to a single question, what _is _my purpose in this world? My goal has always been to destroy Megatron and become leader of the Decepticons, but theoretically, if I am to take control of the Decepticon hierarchy, what then? What do I accomplish? The responsibilities required in leading an army, the burdens of having everyone to rely upon you? Is that really what I want? And with that question on mind is it really any different from what Megatron intends? Certainly our ideals have been different in the past, but ultimately they would lead to the same pointless result regardless, that said, what victory could exist that would grant me happiness, me, a warrior." He shut his optics, "Goodbye Megatron, I only apologize for the fact that it took me this long to figure out my purpose in the world. I now bid you all adieu."

With that, Starscream transformed into his F-15 jet mode, blasting off into the sky and disappearing between the clouds.

Bumblebee, Wheeljack, Soundwave, Rumble, and Megatron all stared forward, their expressions blank.

Wheeljack belched.

* * *

Grimlock and the Dinobots stormed forward, their massive legs quaking against the road as they passed through another intersection. People and cars scattered in all directions as the raging Dinobots broke through.

"Faster Dinobots!" Grimlock called, "Need to move faster for… for whatever we looking for!"

"Was it fish?" Swoop asked, soaring by.

"Me Sludge like fish!" Sludge exclaimed.

"Me Grimlock like fish too!" said guess who. "But that not it…" He paused. "Let's keep moving faster!"

* * *

Soundwave raised a shaking servo. "Lord Megatron, if this event has affected you to this extent, then perhaps it would please you if I were to betray you and-"

"NO!" Megatron waved a limp servo at his Communications officer. He was slumped against a small boulder, his head in his hands. "It's—it's not the same Soundwave, I'm just so… confused."

Rumble sighed, turning towards Bumblebee, "So uhh… if it's okay with you this is kind of a bad time and erm…" He scratched the back of his head. "We've got a bar back at our base, you are welcome to come over and have a few drinks if you're up for it."

Wheeljack snaked over to the Cassetticon, "You have a bar? Seriously? That would be— wait, aren't we like-"

"At war." Bumblebee said.

"Yeah, at war."

Rumble thought about it for a moment and nodded, "Yeah…"

Bumblebee let out a slight laugh, "Heh, yeah, that would be pretty…" he stopped himself, looking up to see Wheeljack motioning him to the side. "Er… excuse us Rumble, we need to discuss… something."

The Cassetticon shrugged and walked away, both his servos rested comfortably behind his head.

The moment he was out of earshot, Wheeljack clasped his hands and bent over to face the smaller Autobot. "Bumblebee, we need to take up Rumble on his offer."

"What?"

"Don't you see Bumblebee, we can sneak in their base and—and we can blow it up Bumblebee, I can make a bomb, and we can blow up all the Decepticons to Kingdom c—hic – to King—hic – to hell."

Bumblebee rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. "Gee I don't know Wheeljack, I think—Waitaminute you just want to invade for the bar don't you?"

Wheeljack folded his arms in surrender. "Guilty as charged, but c'mon Bee, it'll be real quick, just in, and out."

Bumblebee shook his head, "Nu-uh, not worth it."

"Come ON Bee, just look at the guy, do you really think we'll ever see Megatron this vulnerable again?"

"What do you mean? We can't just head back to the Ark and return with Ironhide, Optimus and the rest and get them later?"

Wheeljack waggled a finger, "No, no, of course not, from what I can gather from my studies, Starscream's intelligence will only last about another five minutes before he reverts to his traitorous self."

"Oh."

* * *

The forest, serene, tranquil, peace, Starscream hummed as he watched a pair of deer bounding across a gorge. It looked like the last place a Decepticon air warrior belonged, but nonetheless, Starscream was sitting comfortably, cross-legged on the forest floor. "At last…" he mused to a bird sitting on his lap, "The days of the Decepticons are over, I can finally rest, give up those fruitless dreams of ruling a failed idea." He paused, looking up at the clear, blue sky. "After all, it's not like I ever actually wanted to lead, I just—" he stopped, "I just thought usurpation was cool."

Silence.

"Not anymore though, now I'm… I'm all good and here, no need to… degrade myself or—"

He stared at the pair of deer's as they started mating in front of him, "My God not being treacherous is boring."

* * *

"Is that so…" Megatron inquired, his hands clasped firmly behind his back.

Wheeljack nodded, "That's right, you see I—" Wheeljack stopped himself, realizing what he was saying, and who he was saying it to. He turned around, coming face to face with Megatron, smiling.

"Ah crud." Wheeljack said, backing away as the Decepticon leader advanced.

"Now then, I believe that it can be mutually agreed upon that there are a certain two Autobots that do not belong where they stand."

Wheeljack sighed, turning to the yellow Autobot. "Well, it looks like this is it Bumblebee, this is where we die."

"You can't be serious, there's nothing we can do?"

"Nope… unless… wait, could it be? Yes! This button on my belt! Maybe if I can… of course!"

"Did you figure something out?!"

"Yes I—wait, nope, never mind, we're still going to die."

Bumblebee sighed, "So... no last minute rescue?"

"No last minute rescue." Megatron said, advancing closer and backing the two bots into a cliff face.

"Of course there's no last minute rescue!" Wheeljack spluttered, "Teletraan's down, and the only thing between this complex and the Ark is the city, and _no one _will be stupid enough to come charging through a city of civilians just to reach us by chance."

Noticing some falling debris from the edge of the cliff, Bumblebee turned to face upward and smiled. "Um Wheeljack?"

"What?"

Bumblebee pointed up. At the edge of the cliff was Grimlock, standing in robot mode with the wounded body of Hook in one hand, and his energy blade in the other. "Dinobots!" he announced, "Attack!"

Grimlock bounded off the side of the cliff, followed closely by Slag, Swoop, Sludge and Snarl, transforming as they landed.

Megatron cursed and fired rapidly from his fusion cannon, only for Grimlock to swing his tail into his chest and send the Decepticon leader crashing into another cliff-face, leaving a Megatron-shaped indent in the process. Snarl and Sludge teamed up on Soundwave as Swoop chased Rumble around the complex, their maws wide open.

"Epic!" Wheeljack exclaimed, "Now that I've been proven wrong, can we go home?"

Slag raised a hand to his creator, "Wait."

Sludge managed to kick Soundwave to the ground, slamming his tail against his chest, shattering his chest cavity and breaking his visor. Soundwave transformed, shrinking into his smaller cassette deck mode before transforming back, catching Sludge by surprise and delivering an uppercut into his jaw. Snarl managed to trip him with his tail, but again, Soundwave transformed, shrinking into a cassette deck only this time disappearing in the action.

Megatron fell from his indent, landing back first into the ground. Flipping himself over, he found himself faced to snout with Grimlock. The T-Rex let out a deafening roar and the Decepticon leader replied with his typical cry.

"Decepticons, retreat!"

Slag smiled. "Now we go."

* * *

The minute they returned to the Ark, Wheeljack had gone straight for his recharge slab, falling into stasis the moment his optics were shut. Bumblebee on the other hand wasted no time in apologizing to Ratchet, promptly returning to his duties on repairing Teletraan. As guilty as he felt about it, it seemed evident that Ratchet didn't blame him for the mess that was left behind.

"It's Wheeljack's fault." Ratchet urged, mending a scar on Bumblebee shoulder with his laser scalpel.

"I know." Bumblebee said apologetically. "I know you've worked with him for a long time, but after today I'm not sure how you haven't killed yourself yet."

Ratchet snapped his digits, placing pressure on Bumblebee's wound and causing him to flinch, "Firstly, never joke about suicide with me. Not ever. Secondly, you may not see it now but Wheeljack he's…" the CMO sighed, scratching the side of his helm idly. "Things have been hard on Wheeljack, he's an inventor, a weapons inventor now but—well he didn't always invent weapons. Before the war Wheeljack invented all kinds of things like energy conserving lightning rods and electric-powered health packs, things for the greater good. But when Sentinel Prime had other plans for him, he, well, snapped. Imagine one moment you're trying to invent something to save a dominant species from extinction, and the next you're coming up with weapons that disembowel your foe and turn them inside out. It's horrifying. The worst part is that he was good at it, he eventually created the standard Autobot rifle best known as the top tiered weapon in the war. There isn't much better than it, and that's what scares him, when the perfect weapons have already been developed, what else is there for you to do? You see Bumblebee, _that's _why Wheeljack creates things he knows will fail, _that's _why he's resorted to drinking, and _that's _why he made the Dinobots imperfect, it leaves him with a further goal to strive for, a meaning for his life."

Bumblebee shrugged, "I bet he does it ironically or something…"

Ratchet let out a breath and continued his repairs, "Believe what you will… though those Intelligence enhancing cubes could be useful if—"

"Don't bother." Bumblebee said waving his hand, "Wheeljack only managed to escape Soundwave by destroying the rest of the cubes and inciting a chained explosion." He paused, "I wonder where they came from anyways."

* * *

_20 years later..._

Shots rippled throughout Autobot city as Windcharger scrambled the lab for a proper weapon. The mini-bot picked up a rifle far too big for him and glanced at the barricades. "The Decepticons are getting through!"

"Impossible…" Wheeljack said, fingering at a device, "Autobot City is impenetrable."

"Evidently not."

Wheeljack cringed. "Fine, just give me a second." He punched a code into his device as ten pink Energon cubes, topped with green highlights appeared before him. "Alright, now I just need to…." He punched in a few more keys and the cubes disappeared just as spontaneously. "There, that should do it."

"What did you _do?"_

"I sent one of my projects back in time." He explained. "It increases the intelligence of a—oh what's the point? Hopefully the past me will find it and become smart enough to solve this problem before anyone else dies."

"That's… kind of insane."

Wheeljack smiled beneath his faceplate. "Yeah, Ratchet used to say the same thing to me all the time, and now I'm doing it for him. Whether this works or not, I can say with certainty that I contributed my utmost for this lifetime, and what I reach from this… is satisfaction."

Windcharger raised a brow, "Huh, that's… pretty profound Wheeljack I— What are you doing?"

"I'm lying on the floor. I'm gonna shut down my systems and play dead for as long as possible, you should do the same."

The grey and red Autobot stared at him, "No."

Wheeljack shut his optics. "Have fun dying then."

* * *

"I bet Wheeljack smuggled one away with him anyhow." Ratchet supposed.

Bee sighed, stepping down from Teletraan. "Who knows with him."

"Someone talking about me?" Wheeljack said, entering the room.

"Yes," Ratchet replied, waving his wrench at him. "We were talking about how great it would be if you could help out with the repairs."

Wheeljack, sober, dusted off his fingertips and reached for his tool belt. "Maybe I'll sneak in a few upgrades while I'm at it." As he mused, he heard a booming voice, echoing from the doorway.

"WHEELJACK!" It was Optimus, he had a pair of suitcases placed on either side of him. His upper body painted in a light blue and yellow Hawaiian styled deco and his optics covered by a pair of "shades". Behind him was the Dinobots, bowing their heads shamefully.

Wheeljack blinked. "Heh, didn't know you were getting back from your vacation _today_, heh, oh wow, that's just- that's just unfortunate."

Optimus had his arms crossed, his optics blazing. "One-hundred and thirteen humans wounded by an apparent Dinobot stampede through the city to reach you."

"Well when you put it that way it's as if it's my fault too…"

"One-hundred and thirteen." He repeated, putting emphasis on each syllable.

"Well let me tell you what, it was Ratchet who decided to let the Dinobots out without any supervision so—Ratchet?"

The medical officer was nowhere to be found, having skipped out earlier and leaving Wheeljack to take all the punishment.

Optimus moved closer to Wheeljack and Bumblebee, cracking his knuckles along the way, "OVER ONE-HUNDRED!"

Wheeljack placed his hands on Bumblebee's shoulders once again. "Run Bumblebee run!"


End file.
